so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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