Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
