He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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