Yo dont text me then not text me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
