i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
