My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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