fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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