You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
