Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
