New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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