chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
