So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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