I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
