do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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