Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
