Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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