My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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