I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
