bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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