I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
