i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
