'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
