Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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