Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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