so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
