Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
