There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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