Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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