It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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