I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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