good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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