she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
