apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
