Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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