I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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