My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
