Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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