who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
