We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
