it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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