I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
