I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
