Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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