yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
