i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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