You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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