Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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