One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
