so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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