carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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