It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Shame - the story of my life.
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