I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
